“Amazed by Human ‘Science and Technology’”… Vampires Abandon Hard Coffins for Memory Foam

Humans are said to spend nearly one third of their lives asleep. For creatures who barely live a century, the amount of money and technology they invest in that brief rest is astonishing. At the center of this obsession are the ‘premium mattresses’ now dominating department store living sections.

With phrases like “sleeping on clouds” and “zero-gravity comfort,” humans willingly spend tens of millions on beds. Once mocked by vampire society as indulgences for frail mortals, these technologies are now quietly reshaping vampire bedrooms as well.

“No More Hard Wooden Floors”… Vampires Yield to Human Material Engineering
During the long daylight hours, vampires must lie perfectly still inside coffins or darkened rooms. The issue is simple but severe: remaining motionless in a single position for more than half a day.

After centuries spent enduring rigid oak coffin floors and cold earth, many vampires have finally surrendered to human ‘memory foam’ technology.

K, a 350-year-old vampire, recently dismantled the interior of his antique coffin and custom-fitted a human mattress inside. “When I was young, even stone floors were fine,” he admitted. “But after more than 300 years on hard wood, I woke up every night feeling like I’d been beaten all over.”

“The moment you lie down, this human foam fills every curve of your body,” he added. “Since installing it, the cracking sounds in my joints when I rise at sunset have disappeared.”

Indeed, vampire communities are now sharing popular guides on how to custom-cut human mattresses to coffin dimensions. Tips like “foam mattresses are easier to cut than spring ones” and “use a 5cm topper so the coffin lid still closes” circulate widely.

“Coffins Are Too Cramped”… From Coffins to Beds with Blackout Curtains
Among younger vampires, even more radical changes are underway. Some have abandoned coffins altogether, opting to rest on human beds—a movement now dubbed the ‘Bed Faction.’

J, a 120-year-old vampire working in IT, explained: “Being trapped in a narrow coffin is outdated thinking. These days, blackout curtains and advanced light-blocking films are good enough to keep sunlight out.” He recently installed a human king-size motion bed in his bedroom.

“Before resting, I adjust the angle with a remote and binge-watch OTT series,” he said. “Human bed technology deserves respect. Cold floors may help retain body temperature, but they’re terrible for your spine and quality of life.”

“You Can’t Fight the Times”… Bedroom Culture at the Crossroads of Tradition and Technology
Resistance remains strong. Conservative elders argue that coffins are not merely beds, but the final bastion protecting vampires from light and external threats—and a core symbol of vampire identity. “Sprawling defenselessly on a wide bed is forgetting our survival instincts,” they warn.

Yet despite such concerns, the desire for comfortable rest seems unstoppable.

Will vampires preserve the dignity of hard oak floors, or surrender to the cloud-like temptation of memory foam? Night after night, many now find themselves torn between sacred tradition and spinal well-being.