Fang reduction procedures popularized — side effects emerging such as “air leaking when speaking” and “discomfort while eating”

To appear less intimidating at work, vampire employee P recently underwent a cosmetic procedure to round down her fangs. The result: her “S” sound leaks when speaking, and she needs scissors to open blood packs — a humiliation she didn’t expect.

More vampires now file fangs to seem soft, friendly, or ‘puppy-coded’ like humans. Once a noble symbol of lineage, long fangs are increasingly seen as outdated or threatening. Clinics report a 40% surge in smoothing requests.

Experts warn the procedure can cause speech leakage, feeding difficulties, nerve sensitivity, and taste dulling. Dentist Choi of Moonlight Dental states, “Vampire fangs are not decorative — they are sensory weapons. Reshaping can impair long-term oral function.”

Consumer reports list cases of blood pack tearing failure, emergency hunting inability, and phonetic distortion — especially with sibilants.

Some now request total fang removal and human-shaped implants, but professionals call it a “biological and cultural self-amputation.” A quest for assimilation risks erasing evolutionary identity itself.